It's not been very productive for me this past week being sick and in bed the entire holiday week! However, I was able to watch a National Geographic video on Stress and found it extremely profound. I want to share a few points that the documentary left with me.
1. Social hierarchy determines how much stress can effect our health. The lower you are on the hierarchy social ladder the more stress related health problems you incur, i.e. high cholesterol, diabetes, digestive problems, auto immune disease, just to name a few.
2. Those people that are caregivers for children with disabilities have more stress regardless of the hierarchy in social setting. These mothers especially, are proven to age 6 years to every one year of serving their disabled child.
3. Because we are humans and live in a social environment we tend to feed into the stress of those people we are associated with daily. We do this by what we say to them, how we react to our own actions, how we react to others' actions. Our simple interactions with others can cause stress to those people that is unnecessary and thus the cycle of hierarchy continues.
4. Finally, we can help eliminate stress in those loved ones that we live with just by not snapping at them when we are having a bad day. We can help repair damaged stressed related health issues by enjoying the simple things around us, find something that helps the endorphins to be released naturally, laugh often and GIVE rather than receive!
This was just a quick overview of some major points I found to correlate with a lesson my father taught me up until his death in May 2008.
My story:
The year of 2007 was an rather difficult year for me for so many reasons. It seemed like the year started out really good with a lot of promise but went downhill quickly. When things started to slide south it all started to tumble into a spiral spin. There was one particular day that I was struggling with some major decisions and I needed to have some fatherly counsel from my tender and wise father. After sitting with him and unloading some of my burdens upon his shoulders he gave me this advice, "You cannot heal without serving others"! He gave me his counsel that if I would turn my worries and pain into that of serves to others I would be able to heal.
Well, for the first year after his counsel I didn't want to serve anyone! I didn't know how. I was so self consumed with the stress' that I was carrying around on my shoulders that my health had begun to weaken and uncertainty without hope clouded my decisions. I was in a spiral!
It was a day in May of 2008 that I found whom I wanted to serve. This opportunity came so natural, without warning, without solicitation. My father was dying. It happened so quickly! It was he whom I wanted to serve. It was my father I wanted to pour my hurt stressed heart over too in the name of service and love. There was nothing I was going to allow me not to serve him until his end. I didn't do anything miraculous. I didn't have to. It was simple things, ice upon his dry lips, a change of sheets as he sat in his chair for a minute or two. Service came in the terms of small tidbits of tender loving care to someone I loved. This was the first time in an entire year I had turned my heart aches away from myself. I was alive, I felt a change. It wasn't the way I wanted it at all, I wanted my father to live too. I laid next to him on his bed before his time at home ended and told him he had become my service project, how ironic! He smiled! His last words to all of us were that he loved everyone!
Jesus Christ taught us to "Love One Another" and I believe that this is a healing remedy for every alignment that haunts us as human beings. Without love for another, we cannot serve others.
So back to the beginning of my post today.
1. Social hierarchy can cause us stress..."Love One Another".
2. Caregivers of those that have disabilities definitely do...."Love One Another".
3. Interactions with others can influence their stress so...."Love One Another".
4. Having a bad day? "Love One Another"!
I am truly blessed!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Do as I say... not as I say I do!
I gave Andy, one of my sons, a challenge yesterday. He and I were discussing my new blog. He wanted to know why I hadn't been writing about all of the "good deeds" I had promised myself so openly in my blog that I was going to do. It was a tough argument because Andy talks fast and some times he becomes loud. I can't get a word in other wise, that's weird because I'm loud. Can you imagine the conversation with all of my children and their spouses at the same time over a stupid subject. Things definitely gets out of control.
Squirrel.....
Back to my theme of today's blog. "Do as I say... not as I say I do".
While commiting to do good deeds of some type I don't ever plan on writing about the exact deed or the exact words. I don't even want to talk about them with anyone. This is a very personal goal. I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself. I believe that good deeds are done sometimes in quite times, un-noticed many times, but the benefit has a positive effect on whomever is the receiver. However, I selfishly wish to have the self gratification of service rendered saved inside my soul. My writings are about the changes that hopefully I will be able to feel within myself. I want to serve, I want to be kind, I want to forgive, I want to love. You can't love completely without serving those around you in your life. It just doesn't happen without the work!
I have the best children, Andy is my second son. He is our comedian, he is strong and tender hearted. Andy has a beautiful wife and two absolutely vivacious children. I am extremely proud of Andy and how he has grown to be a fantastic father. I am truly blessed!
Squirrel.....
Back to my theme of today's blog. "Do as I say... not as I say I do".
While commiting to do good deeds of some type I don't ever plan on writing about the exact deed or the exact words. I don't even want to talk about them with anyone. This is a very personal goal. I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself. I believe that good deeds are done sometimes in quite times, un-noticed many times, but the benefit has a positive effect on whomever is the receiver. However, I selfishly wish to have the self gratification of service rendered saved inside my soul. My writings are about the changes that hopefully I will be able to feel within myself. I want to serve, I want to be kind, I want to forgive, I want to love. You can't love completely without serving those around you in your life. It just doesn't happen without the work!
So, to Andy...Do as I say!
You promised me a simple little deed that you were going to do. Did you do it?
I have the best children, Andy is my second son. He is our comedian, he is strong and tender hearted. Andy has a beautiful wife and two absolutely vivacious children. I am extremely proud of Andy and how he has grown to be a fantastic father. I am truly blessed!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Laughter Heals my Soul
Today was just a feel good silly kind of day for me. I don't think I really took anything seriously, I even went sledding in my backyard alone! It was a sight that will never be seen by anyone ever! But I had fun!
The sound of laughter in my house has been such a magnificent healing tool for me. It seems like whenever the family gets together the laughter just has no choice but to begin. I sat on the floor the other day playing bowling with two of my grandsons on the Wii. They would get to laughing about the silliest things and not be able to stop, they would roll on top of each other with laughter. It was infectious, we all started to laugh it was then I noticed my little deaf/blind grandson right in the middle of the boys rolling right along with them. He was laughing too! It seemed so natural and yet it wasn't at all what we thought we would ever see him be able to do, to laugh. The older boys were filled with laughter regarding their surroundings and their ability to communicate with each other, it was a way of sharing such joy and happiness. The same was true with Kingston, he might not of been able to hear everything or see anything but he was aware of his surroundings. He had to feel the love and joyous friendship of those cousins as they truly wrestled around with each other in laughter.
My second to the oldest grandson, Austin Cottrell, has to be one of the funniest children I've ever met! He controls the room he is in with his sweet tender heart, yes he is rough around the outside, he is a true BOY! But when he starts to laugh his dimples melts his grandmas heart! Today I am Thankful for laughter! I am so blessed to have my Austin in my life! What a joy!
The sound of laughter in my house has been such a magnificent healing tool for me. It seems like whenever the family gets together the laughter just has no choice but to begin. I sat on the floor the other day playing bowling with two of my grandsons on the Wii. They would get to laughing about the silliest things and not be able to stop, they would roll on top of each other with laughter. It was infectious, we all started to laugh it was then I noticed my little deaf/blind grandson right in the middle of the boys rolling right along with them. He was laughing too! It seemed so natural and yet it wasn't at all what we thought we would ever see him be able to do, to laugh. The older boys were filled with laughter regarding their surroundings and their ability to communicate with each other, it was a way of sharing such joy and happiness. The same was true with Kingston, he might not of been able to hear everything or see anything but he was aware of his surroundings. He had to feel the love and joyous friendship of those cousins as they truly wrestled around with each other in laughter.
My second to the oldest grandson, Austin Cottrell, has to be one of the funniest children I've ever met! He controls the room he is in with his sweet tender heart, yes he is rough around the outside, he is a true BOY! But when he starts to laugh his dimples melts his grandmas heart! Today I am Thankful for laughter! I am so blessed to have my Austin in my life! What a joy!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Tradition of Christmas....
Day 2-- Being the Christmas season, I look forward to the traditional Christmas fanfare every year. Particularly the sounds and smells of the holiday. My earliest memory of Christmas was when I was about 3. We had gone to visit my Grandparents (Leavitt) in Bunkerville, I'm sure we visited the Frehner Grandparents first in Mesquite, NV just over the river. But this Christmas we were to spend the night with my Grandpa and Grandma Leavitt. I don't think it was Christmas Eve but it was close. There was a tradition back then that on the Sunday before Christmas, after all of the Christmas church meetings were complete, each house in Bunkerville would be visited by Santa Claus.
The warm fire had been built and we had all been given our hot baths, I mean HOT for some reason Grandma Leavitt loved to run the water extra warm. I think it was the only way she thought we could get all that dirt from the day off of us. The water had to be hot, the soap had to be rubbed into the wash rag and scrubbed onto our skin. Never the less, they still are very fond memories to me. I would jump out of the had bathtub and know that I had the quick trip across the freezing cold hallway, through the door and across the living room to the warmth of the fire. There grandma had my Christmas handmade ppajama's ready for me to put on. She would make each of the grandchildren a pair of pajamas every year. Mine of course were the prettiest ones ever made. I would twirl around and around in my beautiful pink flowered flannel and lace nightgown. I looked forward to my Christmas pajamas all year long.
That was just the beginning of the holiday for me that year. Grandpa Leavitt was the king of roasting pinenuts and parched corn with raisins. The smell would linger for hours and what a treat it was for me. I would sit on his lap and watch him crack open the pinenuts to expose the tender fat nut inside and he would always let me pick out the meat for myself.
There is not one Christmas season that I can remember as a youth that I don't think of the sounds and smells of that holiday. Santa came and went, I was even a little afraid. I don't remember what he said to me or what I asked for from Santa that year. But I do remember the smells, the feeling and of course the singing of Christmas hymns that always came from my grandmother 's beautiful voice as she went about her daily duties. Her hymns were always about the birth of Christ and the traditional Christmas carols. I don't remember ever hearing her sing of Santa or anything other than that of rejoicing in the birth of Christ.
Today, I'm a grandmother. I definitely don't sew handmade pajamas. I went to "Old Navy" and purchased the $8 jingle jammies for each of my grandkids. I didn't even wrapped them. I rolled them up, placed a ribbon around them stuck them into their own little cubbie I have by the front door. One for each grandchild. There they will be so when each child comes to visit they can find a new pair of "jingle jammies" picked out just for them. I don't have pinenuts or parched corn to roast. I paid for the makings for Chex mix deluxe to throw together when the time is needed. This grandma wishes to be so much like her grandmothers of old but I just can't compare. I can however, create my own traditions, which will always include the smells and sounds of the holiday that I create. But more importantly I can leave with my grandchildren the knowledge that I know that the spirit of Christmas is in the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. That through Him and because of Him we live! He is the reason we celebrate! All of the smells, all of the sights and all of the sounds will be about Jesus Christ in my home! I will sing songs of rejoicing in His birth just as my grandmother sang in her home. This is what I am Thankful for this day! The gift of song!
The warm fire had been built and we had all been given our hot baths, I mean HOT for some reason Grandma Leavitt loved to run the water extra warm. I think it was the only way she thought we could get all that dirt from the day off of us. The water had to be hot, the soap had to be rubbed into the wash rag and scrubbed onto our skin. Never the less, they still are very fond memories to me. I would jump out of the had bathtub and know that I had the quick trip across the freezing cold hallway, through the door and across the living room to the warmth of the fire. There grandma had my Christmas handmade ppajama's ready for me to put on. She would make each of the grandchildren a pair of pajamas every year. Mine of course were the prettiest ones ever made. I would twirl around and around in my beautiful pink flowered flannel and lace nightgown. I looked forward to my Christmas pajamas all year long.
That was just the beginning of the holiday for me that year. Grandpa Leavitt was the king of roasting pinenuts and parched corn with raisins. The smell would linger for hours and what a treat it was for me. I would sit on his lap and watch him crack open the pinenuts to expose the tender fat nut inside and he would always let me pick out the meat for myself.
There is not one Christmas season that I can remember as a youth that I don't think of the sounds and smells of that holiday. Santa came and went, I was even a little afraid. I don't remember what he said to me or what I asked for from Santa that year. But I do remember the smells, the feeling and of course the singing of Christmas hymns that always came from my grandmother 's beautiful voice as she went about her daily duties. Her hymns were always about the birth of Christ and the traditional Christmas carols. I don't remember ever hearing her sing of Santa or anything other than that of rejoicing in the birth of Christ.
Today, I'm a grandmother. I definitely don't sew handmade pajamas. I went to "Old Navy" and purchased the $8 jingle jammies for each of my grandkids. I didn't even wrapped them. I rolled them up, placed a ribbon around them stuck them into their own little cubbie I have by the front door. One for each grandchild. There they will be so when each child comes to visit they can find a new pair of "jingle jammies" picked out just for them. I don't have pinenuts or parched corn to roast. I paid for the makings for Chex mix deluxe to throw together when the time is needed. This grandma wishes to be so much like her grandmothers of old but I just can't compare. I can however, create my own traditions, which will always include the smells and sounds of the holiday that I create. But more importantly I can leave with my grandchildren the knowledge that I know that the spirit of Christmas is in the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. That through Him and because of Him we live! He is the reason we celebrate! All of the smells, all of the sights and all of the sounds will be about Jesus Christ in my home! I will sing songs of rejoicing in His birth just as my grandmother sang in her home. This is what I am Thankful for this day! The gift of song!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Closed for Snow Day
I know, I know my new blog quest has not started out all that productive. When I decided to attempt this quest of "kindness" I didn't anticipate the SNOW! I clearly think I need to re-evaluate what days I choose to do "good deeds" on and SNOW days are NOT going to be one of those days.
The attempt to be kind by word or deed is really rather difficult by nature for me. I mean I really had to think about what I could say to someone that could be considered kind. I decided that it would be better for me not to say anything to one particular person I came in contact with today, rather than say something unkind. This was a real act of self-control, so I guess I could consider myself a success for the day! Yay me!
My day was blessed however, with visits from Jaxin, Kingston and Terril. Then Nathan, Tiffany, Coby, Chase and Caitlyn brought over pizza for dinner. We watched the beginning of Polor Express about six times, I do mean the beginning, the very beginning even before the credits began. We watched the one particular scene where the train goes around the mountain then we watched it again and again 5 more times. That's the way we do things at my house when we have our lovable grandson Coby around.
Coby is autistic with a few OCD habits, one of which is to watch the same scene of a movie repeatedly. We all (the entire 21 members of this family) have become very familiar with the ritual and it doesn't seem to bother anyone when we are all together. Coby is now 5 and has been diagnosed with Autism for about 2 years ago. We are extremely lucky to have Coby in our family, he belongs here, he fits, he is comfortable and he fulfills our need for continued unconditional love. I am so thankful for the grandson that was sent to us named Coby, I love him dearly.
The attempt to be kind by word or deed is really rather difficult by nature for me. I mean I really had to think about what I could say to someone that could be considered kind. I decided that it would be better for me not to say anything to one particular person I came in contact with today, rather than say something unkind. This was a real act of self-control, so I guess I could consider myself a success for the day! Yay me!
My day was blessed however, with visits from Jaxin, Kingston and Terril. Then Nathan, Tiffany, Coby, Chase and Caitlyn brought over pizza for dinner. We watched the beginning of Polor Express about six times, I do mean the beginning, the very beginning even before the credits began. We watched the one particular scene where the train goes around the mountain then we watched it again and again 5 more times. That's the way we do things at my house when we have our lovable grandson Coby around.
Coby is autistic with a few OCD habits, one of which is to watch the same scene of a movie repeatedly. We all (the entire 21 members of this family) have become very familiar with the ritual and it doesn't seem to bother anyone when we are all together. Coby is now 5 and has been diagnosed with Autism for about 2 years ago. We are extremely lucky to have Coby in our family, he belongs here, he fits, he is comfortable and he fulfills our need for continued unconditional love. I am so thankful for the grandson that was sent to us named Coby, I love him dearly.
Friday, December 10, 2010
What have I done?
The nights are long and lonely, which have become my favorite time of the day to reflect upon my words, actions and deeds from the previous day's events. I find myself returning back to the question during my of quite time to "what have I done" today that I need to repent of or "what have I done" that has had a positive effect on someone's life.
It is so easy to brush off a simple action or deed that I could have done that may have brighten someone's life. What is not easy is that act of kindness by going out of my way to help out others. It seems to be that I always have good intentions but the action of getting up and doing something of value is the hardest of all things.
I recently watched the movie "Julie Julia" and I loved the blog that Julie did about blogging her 500 meals in 365 days. I want to try something similar but instead of cooking I want to try and do something nice, (by word or deed) for the people I share my life with daily. I want to blog about my experience on a daily basis to record the events that come about by just a conscious decision of being kind.
It is so easy to brush off a simple action or deed that I could have done that may have brighten someone's life. What is not easy is that act of kindness by going out of my way to help out others. It seems to be that I always have good intentions but the action of getting up and doing something of value is the hardest of all things.
I recently watched the movie "Julie Julia" and I loved the blog that Julie did about blogging her 500 meals in 365 days. I want to try something similar but instead of cooking I want to try and do something nice, (by word or deed) for the people I share my life with daily. I want to blog about my experience on a daily basis to record the events that come about by just a conscious decision of being kind.
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